In 1926, a writer-cum-social reformist C.P.Rajagopal Naidu published his book – ‘A Probe into Widow – Remarriage’. Upon his request Thanthai Periyar reviewed it and had it published in his ‘Kudi Arasu’ weekly, in its issue dated 22.08.1926. His book-scan was in nutshell as follows, with his own views, thoughts and recall of real life experiences, sprinkled in the review:
I have always been supporting the remarriage of widows. Rajagopal Naidu has written and published a book – ‘A Probe into Widow – Remarriage’. I finished reading it and thought of sharing with my readers and cadres my real life experience and my general views related to the central idea of this book — widow remarriage.
Unjust double standard
In the level of intellect or life skills, women are in no way inferior to men but I find an unjust double-standard treatment in society. Among men and women the good and the bad, intelligent and ignorant, courageous and cowards, the weak and the strong, the skilled and the unskilled – exist in equal proportion. Hence, discrimination and disparity cannot be forgiven. I am quite stubborn in this view of mine.
Most of the men are misogynists, crushing women under their heels. It has become a male-dominated world, keeping women servile and shackled. Women continue to be enslaved for centuries. I protest against this injustice. Male-chauvinism must be eradicated. This world should no longer be monopolised and misruled by autocratic men. Different standards for men and women would only mean social injustice.
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Cruelty meted out
Among several sufferings being endured by women the most painful is the pitiable condition of widowed women. Let me too probe into it. Even men who are too old get ready too fast to remarry, soon after the death of their wife. They might have enjoyed all the worldly pleasures and reached a saturation point and yet they seek another companion. They look for a pretty girl much younger to them, only to ruin her life ultimately. On the contrary, when a woman is widowed, she is forced by this society to be a lonely lady throughout her life. She is compelled to stifle all her natural desires, live like an island, grow old and die quietly one day like a sick bird.
There are many hypocrites who talk big about chastity which makes no sense. They say a widow must not seek conjugal rights again. This is unpardonable cruelty, indeed. In fact a young widow who does not remarry would only be vulnerable in a society full of male vultures. Such young widows get ravished by brutal men and atlast end their lives too. The suffering of childless widows is much more painful. They would have no one to take care when they are too old. Sometimes destitute widows may go astray and lead a contemptible life. This could even cause horrible consequences such as infanticide. Conservative parents are to be blamed because they commit the sin of preventing and prohibiting the remarriage of their widowed daughters.
Preaching and practising
Some people may ask me whether I practise what I preach. Believe me, I do. I must narrate a real life experience at this point. I was born and brought up in an orthodox family following Vaishnavite religious rituals and too many traditional customs but I changed when I was just a seven year old boy. I questioned all the outdated conventions. I refused to agree with my parents when they cautioned me that proximity to low caste people would make me impure. I sternly protested. A used to touch the so called untouchables. I shared their food without any hesitation. We had many restrictions, rules and regulations. I violated them all. I flouted every unjust rule imposed by my family. When I was 16, I used to think much more deeply. I realised the ill treatment meted out to women in our society. I fretted and fumed whenever I noticed male chauvinism and misogyny. I was roiled by the arrogance of men. I empathised truly with suffering womenfolk.
Remarriage performed
My sister passed away leaving behind a son and a daughter. When the girl, affectionately called ‘Ammayee’, was ten year old, our family got her married off to a thirteen year old boy. Those days child marriages were quite common. So, I could not prevent it then. Within a period of sixty days the boy suddenly passed away owing to severe bowel disorder and other biological ailments. The girl drowned in a deluge of tears and asked me sobbing uncontrollably – “Uncle! Did I ask you to get me married off ? You have now ruined my life, haven’t you ?”
She fell on my feet completely broken and shattered. She shed tears inconsolably. Nearly seven hundred relatives and friends who had come to express condolence watched us both spell bound. I too wept profusely but decided to make amends for our mistake. When Ammayee attained puberty I started looking for a suitable match for her remarriage. There was a volcanic eruption at home when I told about it. My attempts were all in vain by their obstacles and mischievous ploys. At last I did succeed. I caught hold of a relative and got her remarriage stealthily performed. When he too passed away leaving the girl in the lurch, I decided to fight for widow remarriages as a measure of social reformation. Since then I have been raising a call for that cause. Naturally, the book of Rajagopal Naidu has stirred up my emotions. I shall achieve my objective one day and make my dream come true.
Invisible masks
For centuries, the weak have been suppressed by the strong. Elements soaked in caste supremacy have been selfish and self centred at all times. Even today most people talk big about social reformation but they do not mean what they say. They keep roaming wearing invisible masks. I find people talking in public about women’s liberation but keeping their women enslaved at home. They deliver speeches encouraging widow remarriage but prohibit widowed women of their own family getting remarried. This is sheer hypocrisy, isn’t it?
The problem is a lack of conviction on the part of these so called social reformers. They themselves do not have a firm belief in the policies they talk about in public. They are not what they seem to be. Women are biologically weak. Men are physically strong. Hence, women are easily getting overpowered. This tendency reflects in other forms of suppression when the powerful forces dominate over the weak. Eventually, this leads to inequality in society. Women form almost a half of the world’s population. So it means a half of the world remains enslaved, doesn’t it ? The liberty of humankind is meaningless as long as women remain submissive.
Gandhi in ‘Nav Jeevan’
A great reformer in the world, Gandhi used to speak and write time and again regretting the sufferings of Hindu widows. Last year he wrote thus in his paper ‘Nav Jeevan’:
“Some people wrongly keep saying that young widows willingly remain isolated and that they do not wish to remarry. This is sheer nonsense. There is not even an iota of truth in it. They remain isolated only by the compulsion of narrow minded people.”
He has stated further –
“I advise all the young widows to agree to remarry. Talk freely to your parents and relatives and convey your willingness boldly. If they ignore you, you ignore them and look for a suitable match. Do not allow others to take decisions for you. Resist and protest. Live your life on your own terms. Break all the shackles and begin a new life.”
For the rehabilitation of widows and their upliftment, for about a hundred years great social reformers like Raja Rammohan Roy, Ishwar Chandra Vidhyasagar, Kolhapur Maha Raj, Surendranath Banerjee, Viresalingam Panthulu, Mahadev Govind Ranade, Vemanna and Sir.Gangaram had been striving and struggling. Their voices resonate in this book of Rajagopal Naidu – “A Probe into Widow – Remarriage.” Even a heart of hardened iron would melt after reading this book. It is small in size but big in its contents. My sincere thanks to the author.
Source: ‘Kudi Arasu’ – 22.08.1926
Translated by: M.R.Manohar
